Okay, for those of you seeking deep spiritual truths, sorry, today is NOT that day. I just had a good day. Which in light of the recent events in my life, feels monumental but is probably actually NOT. Well maybe a little. I arose at a mostly decent hour, we got caught up on some school. We watched some dvds about Greek myths, which I am really enjoying studying with the kids right now.
I'll pause here for a minute just to say that the coolest thing to me about being a homeschooling mom is all the learning I get to do as a byproduct of educating my children. I am really digging the Greek myths right now and that whole time period. I also recently read the Percy Jackson series with my kids, which I think did a pretty good job of incorporating Greek myths into a modern context.
Anyways, we made caramel apples for dessert tonight, and watched a dvd on the haunted history of halloween, its roots in Druid Celtic culture and such.
Nobody died. The house did not catch fire. I fed the small multitude from a crockpot of beef stew and caramel apples. I delivered Kate to her ballet studio for workstudy on time. The dog only peed in the house once. So it was not a stellar day. But it was a decent day.
There's lots of things I would like to have fit in today that I did not, however. I did not read to the children today, not from any real books. (Textbooks don't count.) They did not play outside any today, which is a minus to the day in my book. I believe kids need lots of outside play time....and Kate works fairly independently studying Sonlight's American history core 100 this year, which is hard because I really want to be more hands on with her but how to do it with the little ones wanting attention is a challenge. Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time, borrow Charlotte Mason for a day, and let her follow me around and SHOW me how the heck she envisioned a mom like me doing this thing called homeschooling and life with five kids in such different ages and stages. I have faith it can be done...it's just all like breaking ground for me. I didn't grow up in a large family and I'm not a naturally chronologically organized person. Otherwise, I would not be blogging right now. I would have my butt in bed, where it probably should be. But now is the time the house is quiet. Now is the time I can think uninterrupted. So I'm awake and blogging.
Over the last few days, I've glanced at other's blogs. And honestly, I wish I hadn't. It's rather intimidating. I'm not even sure how to put pictures on here, for one thing. And then I began to feel that others had so much more valuable things to say than I ever would. I just have to remind myself that it doesn't matter. At least I'm writing again. That is a small victory for me to savor. Even if the only people who read this are me, my mom, and a lady she cleans houses for....(Love you Mrs. Stout, if you're reading this. :)) Actually, I'm not sure my mom reads this. Okay, well, the two of us then. It's still a small victory.
I'm thirty five years old. I'm not one of those ladies who cringes at telling her age, to be honest. I like the wisdom that CAN come with getting older, though not automatically. I get frustrated too,though, because I feel like by 35, I should have something to give someone else. Some wisdom or ministry to offer. But when I look at my life, I don't see that. I looked outside my door today, and believe it or not, there were no young ladies knocking my door down wanting wisdom or sage advice. Not that I think of myself as some sort of oracle. I don't. It's just I see other women my age teaching and ministering, doing their thing, and I'm never quite sure what my "thing" is. Don't get me wrong. I"m not belittling motherhood. I do think it is the highest calling. I'm not opting out or wanting a different plan. I just feel like I have more to give sometimes, and I'm not sure what to do with it or if anyone even wants it. And that leaves me frustrated.
Well, enough wonderings for one night. I'm getting my charlotte mason behind in the bed....Winnie the Pooh is calling my name for tomorrow. :)