WARNING: THERE are SPOILERS OF the movie TAKEN 3. So if you don't want to know what happens, quit reading now.
Joe and I went on a date night tonight, and part of our date we decided to go watch Taken 3 at the Dollar Theater. Let me say right off the bat that I like Liam Neeson in most of his films, and enjoyed the original Taken movie a whole lot. I am not sure if I ever saw Taken 2, but we thought Taken 3 would be entertaining. Well, it was entertaining, but not in the way we expected.
I will say that the actual acting in the movie was fine; Liam Neeson did a great job with a difficult source material, in my opinion. But good acting doesn't make up for a really bad story line. First off, they make Liam Neeson's character's (Bryan Mill's) exwife Lenore, someone I genuinely liked in the first movie, into a skanky woman who is wanting to cheat on her current husband with her exhusband. They try to paint Bryan Mills as a sympathetic character by having him basically kiss her and say he would wait to be with her after she gets out of her current relationship, so he's only KIND of honorable. And these were characters I sympathized with in the first movie. So from the beginning, it just felt a little yucky to me . I really felt they could have handled the characters so much differently, and it would have set a context I could be much more sympathetic with. They could have just kept them as friends, or she could have already been divorced again, or just had him wrongfully accused for murdering her without that particular back story, set up that way.
But that wasn't the best part. I love a good action movie, and I even go prepared to have reality suspended and stretched quite a bit. However, I lose sympathy for the "good guy" when they are hurting normal bystanders in their methods of attacking bad guys, and it is totally avoidable. Especially, when they aren't even really defending themselves. I mean, I honestly can suspend reality if it's a large scale battle scene, like in Avengers, where all these aliens are attacking earth, and they have to fight them off. But in this case, Liam Neeson is wrongfully accused of murdering his ex wife and he goes on the lamb. He steals a cop car at one point, and causes the car to go driving the wrong way down the highway. In the process, he wrecks and hits a ton of cars, including a large truck, which makes the HUGE load on it go rolling off and crush about 3 or 4 cars in the process. Thus, he is pretty much causing damage to uninvolved bystanders left and right, maiming or killing people, for no other reason than he doesn't want to be arrested.
In the process of running from the cops, he resists arrest, assaults officers, steals their guns, drives extremely wrecklessly, causing death and carnage to innocent people, kills a BUNCH of Russians which the cops KNOW about, blows up a part of building, etc. The best line of the entire movie is near the end of the movie, when the main cop, played by Forrest Whittaker, says they COULD arrest him for getting on the cop computers and stealing information about the case, but they won't. Joe and I were like, What the HECK? I mean, we just saw him break law after law, and THAT is the thing they focus on? Then there was a whole plot line where one of Bryan Mill's buddies gets shot while they are trying to attack the Russians. The last scene with that guy in it you hear the cops saying that he was still alive, and then....nothing. At the end of the movie, you never find out what happened to him. Is he dead or alive? It's like the character was just irrelevant. But he is played through the entire movie as one of Bryan Mill's closest friends.
The other thing that was hard to suspend reality about this time was the fight scenes. And I give ALOT of leeway in action movies. I mean, I know Liam Neeson is tough, but he is not as young as he once was. And the entire movie he is fighting off 30 year old guys like nothing. But every fight scene, the camera was jerky, so it was hard to follow. I think they could have had him outsmarting them more, and still fighting them some, and it would have played better.
Anyway, Joe and I still enjoyed our night out, and the movie had us laughing at the end, though I am pretty sure that was not the intent of the movie. I have to say I would not recommend this movie to a friend to see, unless one is looking for unintentional comedy. And those are my thoughts about this movie. :)
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Friday, January 2, 2015
My Bible verse for 2015
This is the verse the Lord has given me for 2015:
"So you, by the help of your God,
return,
hold fast to love and justice,
and wait continually for your God."
-Hosea 12:6
This is a verse I heard in a sermon recently, but the Lord spoke to my heart that it was also the verse He has for me for this year. I see in this verse the Lord reminding me that it is only BY HIS HELP that I can do anything that pleases Him. Pride is a deadly scourge, and I must be vigilant to root it out and give no place to it.
I see the Lord calling me to hold fast to both love toward Him and others, and also justice. Not the justice of the world, which is sometimes actually injustice, but HIS justice. His truth must reign in my life. And there again at the end am I reminded that I must be in continual relationship with Him in order to know the plans the Lord has for me, and to walk in them. Apart from Him, I can do nothing. I am called in this Christian life to live in fellowship with Him. I am posting this here, because I hope to look back and see how God has used this word to encourage me through the coming year.
"So you, by the help of your God,
return,
hold fast to love and justice,
and wait continually for your God."
-Hosea 12:6
This is a verse I heard in a sermon recently, but the Lord spoke to my heart that it was also the verse He has for me for this year. I see in this verse the Lord reminding me that it is only BY HIS HELP that I can do anything that pleases Him. Pride is a deadly scourge, and I must be vigilant to root it out and give no place to it.
I see the Lord calling me to hold fast to both love toward Him and others, and also justice. Not the justice of the world, which is sometimes actually injustice, but HIS justice. His truth must reign in my life. And there again at the end am I reminded that I must be in continual relationship with Him in order to know the plans the Lord has for me, and to walk in them. Apart from Him, I can do nothing. I am called in this Christian life to live in fellowship with Him. I am posting this here, because I hope to look back and see how God has used this word to encourage me through the coming year.
Thoughts from 2 Chronicles and looking back on 2014
And Solomon went up there to the bronze altar before the Lord, which was at the tabernacle of meeting, and offered a thousand burnt offerings on it. On that night God appeared to Solomon, and said to him, “Ask! What shall I give you?”
And Solomon said to God: “You have shown great mercy to David my father, and have made me king in his place. Now, O Lord God, let Your promise to David my father be established, for You have made me king over a people like the dust of the earth in multitude. Now give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may go out and come in before this people; for who can judge this great people of Yours?”
Then God said to Solomon: “Because this was in your heart, and you have not asked riches or wealth or honor or the life of your enemies, nor have you asked long life—but have asked wisdom and knowledge for yourself, that you may judge My people over whom I have made you king— wisdom and knowledge are granted to you; and I will give you riches and wealth and honor, such as none of the kings have had who were before you, nor shall any after you have the like.”
So Solomon came to Jerusalem from the high place that was at Gibeon, from before the tabernacle of meeting, and reigned over Israel.
-II Chronicles 1:6-13
I was reading this today for my time in God's word, as it was the next scheduled reading I am on for my reading through the Bible. It seemed like a fitting text, though, for starting a new year. I read it, and thought how insightful Solomon was to ask for wisdom, and not any of the worldly things that most of us would immediately have wished for. And then I considered how even all of that great wisdom didn't stop him from making poor decisions in his own personal life, since we know he took many wives, and most of them didn't even worship the one true God. Then I contemplated what he could have asked for that would have been even better than wisdom, and I am really not sure what the answer would be. The best answers I could come up with was that God would always be with him, but then I considered that even if God is with you, if your heart is not turned to follow Him, it could mean only destruction or sadness. Then I decided that asking God for a heart that pleased Him and walked in His ways might be the best thing. This thought gave me a feeling of awe, because what has God granted to His people today through the work of the gospel, but new hearts? We see that it was prophesied in Ezekiel 36:26 that God would do this very thing for His people when He said,
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
And Solomon said to God: “You have shown great mercy to David my father, and have made me king in his place. Now, O Lord God, let Your promise to David my father be established, for You have made me king over a people like the dust of the earth in multitude. Now give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may go out and come in before this people; for who can judge this great people of Yours?”
Then God said to Solomon: “Because this was in your heart, and you have not asked riches or wealth or honor or the life of your enemies, nor have you asked long life—but have asked wisdom and knowledge for yourself, that you may judge My people over whom I have made you king— wisdom and knowledge are granted to you; and I will give you riches and wealth and honor, such as none of the kings have had who were before you, nor shall any after you have the like.”
So Solomon came to Jerusalem from the high place that was at Gibeon, from before the tabernacle of meeting, and reigned over Israel.
-II Chronicles 1:6-13
I was reading this today for my time in God's word, as it was the next scheduled reading I am on for my reading through the Bible. It seemed like a fitting text, though, for starting a new year. I read it, and thought how insightful Solomon was to ask for wisdom, and not any of the worldly things that most of us would immediately have wished for. And then I considered how even all of that great wisdom didn't stop him from making poor decisions in his own personal life, since we know he took many wives, and most of them didn't even worship the one true God. Then I contemplated what he could have asked for that would have been even better than wisdom, and I am really not sure what the answer would be. The best answers I could come up with was that God would always be with him, but then I considered that even if God is with you, if your heart is not turned to follow Him, it could mean only destruction or sadness. Then I decided that asking God for a heart that pleased Him and walked in His ways might be the best thing. This thought gave me a feeling of awe, because what has God granted to His people today through the work of the gospel, but new hearts? We see that it was prophesied in Ezekiel 36:26 that God would do this very thing for His people when He said,
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
In this sense, I realized how much better we have it than even King Solomon! Still, it's an amazing thing to contemplate being face to face with the God of all creation, and being granted one desire of our heart.
Looking back at 2014, I can see where I have met some of the goals I set for myself. Joe and I were able to attend the Biblical counseling conference. I made strides in reading through the Bible, as I have read through I Chronicles in the Old Testament, and Colossians in the New Testament. So rather than start over, I am continuing on with the Bible reading plan I was using, and hoping to finish sometime this next year. I have still not done so well with working out or getting up and going to bed at the same time. But I have become more cognizant of living with an awareness of God's divine agenda for each day, and being willing to change my plans in obedience to God's agenda for my day. I still struggle with anxiety and worry more than I would like, but I think I have improved some in those areas as well. I can also see vast improvements in Joseph's health this past year, which is a wonderful thing. And Joe and Kate were able to take a planned mission trip to Haiti. A less spiritual goal was to take a vacation, and God was gracious to allow us to do even that.
Another goal I had this year was to write more. While I have made some efforts on my novel, I have blogged less in 2014 than 2013. I did attend several of the writer's clubs meetings, and God has been gracious to allow me to meet other Christian writers, so I see His hand leading and guiding me in that
sphere of my life. I have also painted some this year, and learned a few things. I am not growing and learning nearly as much as I would like though. Ugh, I see so much room for improvement in so many areas. But I am trying to trust that God is at work, and praying He will help me to be more obedient. And doing my best to yield to the Holy Spirit as I recognize His voice.
I am now goal setting for 2015, and looking forward to what God is going to do in the coming year.
I am now goal setting for 2015, and looking forward to what God is going to do in the coming year.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Suffering well even in little things, is, well, sometimes hard.
I am going to write about this today, because, well, it's been on my mind. I have been sick since Thursday night with a migraine and then what we think may be the flu (fever, coughing, congestion, and sinus headaches.) Now on the suffering scale, this is really not a big deal. It's nothing compared to an autoimmune disease, or the death of a close loved one. I know that. But it's still unpleasant. And its always at times like this that I struggle to figure out how faith looks in these situations. I know there are times in the Bible that people suffered, and it was always to bring about God's greater plans in the world. But the degree to which we resist said suffering is where I struggle. How do I bear up under suffering in a way that honors God? I do not see a passivity in suffering in the Bible. What I do see is a recognition of our dependence on God Let's look at this example in Exodus 17: 8-16:
Now Amalek came and fought with Israel in Rephidim. And Moses said to Joshua, “Choose us some men and go out, fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of God in my hand.” So Joshua did as Moses said to him, and fought with Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. And so it was, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed; and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands became heavy; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. So Joshua defeated Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.
Then the Lord said to Moses, “Write this for a memorial in the book and recount it in the hearing of Joshua, that I will utterly blot out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven.” And Moses built an altar and called its name, The-Lord-Is-My-Banner; for he said, “Because the Lord has sworn: the Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation."
First off, I see this as a time for suffering for the Hebrew people, and by extension Moses. His arms grew weak, yet he knew that keeping them up in obedience to God was the key to winning the battle. But ultimately, it wasn't even about Moses' strength. Because it was a task to great for Moses to do alone. He needed others to come alongside him and support him. His weakness here was on full display. As were the children of Israel. It was not great military strategy or tactics, or great leaders, who brought victory. Ultimately, it was God using human vessels to reflect His glory. I can see this clearly here. I just sometimes struggle with what that looks like in my day to day life.
I think suffering well requires a lot more wisdom than I have. I think it means having discernment, and knowing when we are called to stand in victory against the enemy, but also discernment to recognize when we are only fighting the hand of God. Honestly, I want to be that kind of prayer warrior. I don't want to rail against God in his sovereign plans and purposes, but I also want to be cognizant of when those plans and purposes include me "lifting my hands" to ensure victory.
Thinking more on this, I think there is definitely a good kind of rest in Christ. One that rests in His unfailing love, that He is wiser and smarter than I could ever be, and a trust that He is going to "work all things for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28). At the same time, it is not unbelief to pray for healing and restoration, but rather a command of God. If I ever use God's sovereignty as an excuse for lazy faith, I have failed to understand it rightly. For it says in James 5:14-20:
Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain: and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months.
And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth brought forth her fruit.
Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him;
Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.
I see in this passage the flip side of God's sovereignty: that He also uses our prayers to change events and situations for His glory. The common denominator of both sides is a recognized neediness for Christ to be at work. Of myself, I can do nothing. That is where I so often struggle it seems. How often would I rather just DO something than wait on the Lord to be at work, and cry out to Him? But He is what I truly need to be at work. Any other thing, any other person, I place my trust in above Christ becomes an idol. Including myself.
I share this not because I have arrived, but because this is the crux of where God is growing me. Oh Lord, I need greater wisdom. I need to be more like a child, and less like a woman, sometimes. And tonight, Lord, I need physical healing.. Thank you that you are faithful, even when I have not been. Maybe there is more to this than what I see: If so, Holy Spirit, teach me. Give me wisdom. Help me to always trust you, but also know when to fight against injustice. Or suffering. Help me accept what is mine to bear, and reject what is not from you. That's what I want, Lord. To be faithful in all things, not just easy things.
Now Amalek came and fought with Israel in Rephidim. And Moses said to Joshua, “Choose us some men and go out, fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of God in my hand.” So Joshua did as Moses said to him, and fought with Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. And so it was, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed; and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands became heavy; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. So Joshua defeated Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.
Then the Lord said to Moses, “Write this for a memorial in the book and recount it in the hearing of Joshua, that I will utterly blot out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven.” And Moses built an altar and called its name, The-Lord-Is-My-Banner; for he said, “Because the Lord has sworn: the Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation."
First off, I see this as a time for suffering for the Hebrew people, and by extension Moses. His arms grew weak, yet he knew that keeping them up in obedience to God was the key to winning the battle. But ultimately, it wasn't even about Moses' strength. Because it was a task to great for Moses to do alone. He needed others to come alongside him and support him. His weakness here was on full display. As were the children of Israel. It was not great military strategy or tactics, or great leaders, who brought victory. Ultimately, it was God using human vessels to reflect His glory. I can see this clearly here. I just sometimes struggle with what that looks like in my day to day life.
I think suffering well requires a lot more wisdom than I have. I think it means having discernment, and knowing when we are called to stand in victory against the enemy, but also discernment to recognize when we are only fighting the hand of God. Honestly, I want to be that kind of prayer warrior. I don't want to rail against God in his sovereign plans and purposes, but I also want to be cognizant of when those plans and purposes include me "lifting my hands" to ensure victory.
Thinking more on this, I think there is definitely a good kind of rest in Christ. One that rests in His unfailing love, that He is wiser and smarter than I could ever be, and a trust that He is going to "work all things for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28). At the same time, it is not unbelief to pray for healing and restoration, but rather a command of God. If I ever use God's sovereignty as an excuse for lazy faith, I have failed to understand it rightly. For it says in James 5:14-20:
Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain: and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months.
And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth brought forth her fruit.
Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him;
Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.
I see in this passage the flip side of God's sovereignty: that He also uses our prayers to change events and situations for His glory. The common denominator of both sides is a recognized neediness for Christ to be at work. Of myself, I can do nothing. That is where I so often struggle it seems. How often would I rather just DO something than wait on the Lord to be at work, and cry out to Him? But He is what I truly need to be at work. Any other thing, any other person, I place my trust in above Christ becomes an idol. Including myself.
I share this not because I have arrived, but because this is the crux of where God is growing me. Oh Lord, I need greater wisdom. I need to be more like a child, and less like a woman, sometimes. And tonight, Lord, I need physical healing.. Thank you that you are faithful, even when I have not been. Maybe there is more to this than what I see: If so, Holy Spirit, teach me. Give me wisdom. Help me to always trust you, but also know when to fight against injustice. Or suffering. Help me accept what is mine to bear, and reject what is not from you. That's what I want, Lord. To be faithful in all things, not just easy things.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
"Teach us to number our days"
So teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
-Psalm 90:12
Today has been a difficult day. For most of the week, I had already been struggling with discouragement and heartbrokenness in some other areas of my life. But after some time in my Bible with friends last night, I felt encouraged and ready to step back into the "ring" and "gear up", so to speak. But then I started the day with a phone call from a good friend who informed me that another good friend had died. Thing is, the friend who passed away is not someone I have talked to in a long while, mainly because we moved and life is chaotic and busy in a home with six kids. This friend had a larger than average brood of her own, and so while we had talked of getting together for a visit, we were never able to make it happen. But in my heart, I still treasured this person and while I am deeply, deeply thankful for the time God had her in my life and her family was in my family's life, I also feel such heartache that the world no longer has her presence in it. Our daughters were friends as well, and well, it's just hard to consider that I will have to wait until heaven now to see her again.
Then as I was in shock from the news of this and trying to confirm what had happened on the phone, my two year old got past the baby gate in the living room and went into my room and got into my hearing aid case. I realized she had escaped pretty quickly, but not fast enough to stop her from getting into the hearing aid batteries, two of which were spread out on the floor. And I couldn't remember if there were only two batteries in there, or if there had been three. I panicked, called poison control, and quickly took my baby girl to the ER to have a chest x ray. Thankfully, she had not ingested any.
So today has been a roller coaster ride, and throughout it I have felt overwhelmed, in both good ways and bad ways. Overwhelmed by sadness, overwhelmed by how out of control I feel, and especially overwhelmed by my lack of ability to do anything to minister to friends far away other than pray for them. But when I consider my friend's life, I am also overwhelmed, but with good things: Overwhelmed with joyful tears when I remember laughing with her over the joys and trials of parenting, overwhelmed with encouragement when I remember some of the spiritual conversations we shared, and how she would spur me on to good works. Overwhelmed by God's goodness in my own life, that he would see fit to allow me to know this person and live a season of my life with her as my friend, and that we could share each others' load and make each other's burdens lighter, somehow, just by being friends. I wish that every relationship I had could be that meaningful and blessed.
I came home to a meal that had been brought to our family by another good friend, one who has just come into my life since we moved to Alabama in the last couple years. Another friend who makes me glad to know her, and who challenges me by being my friend to love God more and to run the race with endurance. I am a blessed person, that I have SO MANY friends around me I can say that is true of.
It is humbling and sobering to me to realize today anew that I have NO IDEA what the future holds. I could be here for fifty more years, or the Lord could call me home tomorrow. And last night, with friends, I discussed the scripture at the top: "Teach us to number our days." And from that conversation and hearing some of their thoughts as well, I believe I could say that that scripture means to live in a state of awareness of the finiteness of life. Every moment is sacred. Every moment we can choose how we will use it for the betterment of eternity. We should live with an awareness of accountability for the way we spend our minutes, our hours, our days, weeks, months, years. We should recognize the time we have for what it is: an opportunity to be stewards and give it back to Him. The giver. The one it belongs to really. Because all of our time is in His hands.
2014 has been a hard year. I started the year out upbeat,eager to see what God would do. My family and I have seen challenges with our finances, struggles within our local church, as well as personal illnesses in our home. We have made three trips to the emergency room this year, which is a family record, I believe. Somewhere in the middle of 2014, I lost steam. I became focused on the problems I was seeing around me, and I lost sight of the race I was supposed to be running. And the running became hard, like running in mud.
But 2014 has been a good year, as well. God worked out the details for a family vacation that we could never have afforded on our own, one that my kids were the ones to say they wanted and prayed for. I told them that we did not have the money to go on any expensive vacations this year, but they could pray about it and tell God their desires, trusting God that if he wanted to work it out, he could, but if he didn't we would be content without it. And then God amazed me and even in that trivial, inconsequential-in-my-mind-to-anything-of-eternal-value thing, He brought their prayers to fruition. Of course, even more important than a family vacation is my son's health. My son with Crohn's disease is doing better than ever. He feels well, he is gaining weight, and except for the NG tube he has in his nose a few days a week, you wouldn't even know he has an autoimmune condition. God has been faithful in so many areas of our life.
There is so much I haven't done yet that I want to do. I haven't written a book. I haven't been to Ireland yet. Or New Zealand either. I haven't seen my children all grown up yet. But my times are in God's hands, and hopefully, as I am gaining a heart of wisdom by numbering my days, I will be increasingly faithful with how I spend that finite amount of time I have to spend on this earth, knowing that the choices I make will count for eternity.
I have to say I like how Psalm 90 ends. Verses 15-17 say:
Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us,
The years in which we have seen evil.
Let Your work appear to Your servants,
And Your glory to their children.
And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us,
And establish the work of our hands for us;
Yes, establish the work of our hands.
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
-Psalm 90:12
Today has been a difficult day. For most of the week, I had already been struggling with discouragement and heartbrokenness in some other areas of my life. But after some time in my Bible with friends last night, I felt encouraged and ready to step back into the "ring" and "gear up", so to speak. But then I started the day with a phone call from a good friend who informed me that another good friend had died. Thing is, the friend who passed away is not someone I have talked to in a long while, mainly because we moved and life is chaotic and busy in a home with six kids. This friend had a larger than average brood of her own, and so while we had talked of getting together for a visit, we were never able to make it happen. But in my heart, I still treasured this person and while I am deeply, deeply thankful for the time God had her in my life and her family was in my family's life, I also feel such heartache that the world no longer has her presence in it. Our daughters were friends as well, and well, it's just hard to consider that I will have to wait until heaven now to see her again.
Then as I was in shock from the news of this and trying to confirm what had happened on the phone, my two year old got past the baby gate in the living room and went into my room and got into my hearing aid case. I realized she had escaped pretty quickly, but not fast enough to stop her from getting into the hearing aid batteries, two of which were spread out on the floor. And I couldn't remember if there were only two batteries in there, or if there had been three. I panicked, called poison control, and quickly took my baby girl to the ER to have a chest x ray. Thankfully, she had not ingested any.
So today has been a roller coaster ride, and throughout it I have felt overwhelmed, in both good ways and bad ways. Overwhelmed by sadness, overwhelmed by how out of control I feel, and especially overwhelmed by my lack of ability to do anything to minister to friends far away other than pray for them. But when I consider my friend's life, I am also overwhelmed, but with good things: Overwhelmed with joyful tears when I remember laughing with her over the joys and trials of parenting, overwhelmed with encouragement when I remember some of the spiritual conversations we shared, and how she would spur me on to good works. Overwhelmed by God's goodness in my own life, that he would see fit to allow me to know this person and live a season of my life with her as my friend, and that we could share each others' load and make each other's burdens lighter, somehow, just by being friends. I wish that every relationship I had could be that meaningful and blessed.
I came home to a meal that had been brought to our family by another good friend, one who has just come into my life since we moved to Alabama in the last couple years. Another friend who makes me glad to know her, and who challenges me by being my friend to love God more and to run the race with endurance. I am a blessed person, that I have SO MANY friends around me I can say that is true of.
It is humbling and sobering to me to realize today anew that I have NO IDEA what the future holds. I could be here for fifty more years, or the Lord could call me home tomorrow. And last night, with friends, I discussed the scripture at the top: "Teach us to number our days." And from that conversation and hearing some of their thoughts as well, I believe I could say that that scripture means to live in a state of awareness of the finiteness of life. Every moment is sacred. Every moment we can choose how we will use it for the betterment of eternity. We should live with an awareness of accountability for the way we spend our minutes, our hours, our days, weeks, months, years. We should recognize the time we have for what it is: an opportunity to be stewards and give it back to Him. The giver. The one it belongs to really. Because all of our time is in His hands.
2014 has been a hard year. I started the year out upbeat,eager to see what God would do. My family and I have seen challenges with our finances, struggles within our local church, as well as personal illnesses in our home. We have made three trips to the emergency room this year, which is a family record, I believe. Somewhere in the middle of 2014, I lost steam. I became focused on the problems I was seeing around me, and I lost sight of the race I was supposed to be running. And the running became hard, like running in mud.
But 2014 has been a good year, as well. God worked out the details for a family vacation that we could never have afforded on our own, one that my kids were the ones to say they wanted and prayed for. I told them that we did not have the money to go on any expensive vacations this year, but they could pray about it and tell God their desires, trusting God that if he wanted to work it out, he could, but if he didn't we would be content without it. And then God amazed me and even in that trivial, inconsequential-in-my-mind-to-anything-of-eternal-value thing, He brought their prayers to fruition. Of course, even more important than a family vacation is my son's health. My son with Crohn's disease is doing better than ever. He feels well, he is gaining weight, and except for the NG tube he has in his nose a few days a week, you wouldn't even know he has an autoimmune condition. God has been faithful in so many areas of our life.
There is so much I haven't done yet that I want to do. I haven't written a book. I haven't been to Ireland yet. Or New Zealand either. I haven't seen my children all grown up yet. But my times are in God's hands, and hopefully, as I am gaining a heart of wisdom by numbering my days, I will be increasingly faithful with how I spend that finite amount of time I have to spend on this earth, knowing that the choices I make will count for eternity.
I have to say I like how Psalm 90 ends. Verses 15-17 say:
Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us,
The years in which we have seen evil.
Let Your work appear to Your servants,
And Your glory to their children.
And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us,
And establish the work of our hands for us;
Yes, establish the work of our hands.
Friday, November 14, 2014
A poem: The Soldiers
I wrote this poem last night, and thought I'd share it here.
The Soldiers
David was donning his saber,
Grand armies he fought in his yard!
And as he went out,
He declared with a shout,
“Mom, I'm off to work hard!”
"Where are you going?” said Mom.
(For Dave was quite handsomely bedecked
With a pirate's kerchief upon his head,
And much ammo around his neck.)
Jon followed him, wearing a sword,
And around his neck was a cape.
The two young soldiers,
Their armory worn,
Stared back at their mom, mouths agape.
“Mom, can't you tell? We are fighting!
Defending the yard from our foes!
With a victory to win,
Amidst all the din,
We'll probably dig out a foxhole.”
“Very well,” said Mom rather
calmly,
As she gave them a hug and much lovin',
“Just be sure to be done
By fifteen to one,
For our lunch will be out of the oven.”
“Oh, we will, Mom. “ And outside
they jaunted,
Fearless and brave to the core.
And Mom paused and she smiled,
Wishing time would stop- for a while,
These two boys from growing much more.
For right now, she knew, they pretended,
But someday they'd grow up to be men.
And she hoped and she prayed
That for all of their days,
For truth and justice, they'd defend.
Someday, the foes would be real foes,
Like fear, and doubt, and greed,
Though the foes wouldn't be men,
Yet again and again,
They must do battle as they ever have
need.
So Mom said a prayer as she watched
them,
That God would guard their
way,
And help her to be,
The mom that they'd need,
To teach them until that day.
Then Mom said a prayer for their daddy,
For though he was strong and brave and
true,
It was wisdom he'd need,
From Jesus to lead,
And God's grace to see them all
through.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Divine appointments
Then the apostles gathered to Jesus and told Him all things, both what they had done and what they had taught. 31 And He said to them, “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. 32 So they departed to a deserted place in the boat by themselves.
33 But the multitudes saw them departing, and many knew Him and ran there on foot from all the cities. They arrived before them and came together to Him. 34 And Jesus, when He came out, saw a great multitude and was moved with compassion for them, because they were like sheep not having a shepherd. So He began to teach them many things. 35 When the day was now far spent, His disciples came to Him and said, “This is a deserted place, and already the hour is late. 36 Send them away, that they may go into the surrounding country and villages and buy themselves bread; for they have nothing to eat.”
37 But He answered and said to them, “You give them something to eat.”
And they said to Him, “Shall we go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread and give them something to eat?”
38 But He said to them, “How many loaves do you have? Go and see.”
And when they found out they said, “Five, and two fish.”
39 Then He commanded them to make them all sit down in groups on the green grass. 40 So they sat down in ranks, in hundreds and in fifties. 41 And when He had taken the five loaves and the two fish, He looked up to heaven, blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to His disciples to set before them; and the two fish He divided among them all. 42 So they all ate and were filled. 43 And they took up twelve baskets full of fragments and of the fish. 44 Now those who had eaten the loaves were about five thousand men. -Mark 6:30-43
This is the passage the Lord brought to my attention tonight, and I had to share. Did you notice what it says in verse 31? The disciples were living such a hectic life of ministry that they didn't even have TIME to eat! I never noticed that before.
Have you ever felt that way, as a mother with small children? I know I have. I remember well those first months of motherhood, when it seemed I was fortunate if I showered and dressed in a day, and even getting food in my body was a serious challenge. I also know how easy it is to use busyness as an excuse for letting our time alone with God slide to the end of our priorities. How awesome that we see Jesus here, challenging and encouraging the disciples to get away from the crowds for a while and seek the rest and quiet fellowship with Him that they needed.
Funny thing is, it didn't work out so well for them, did it? I mean they TRIED to get away from the crowds, but then what happens? The crowds FOLLOWED them. Sheesh. There have been times that just for the pleasure of a quiet moment, I have sought solitude....in the bathroom. Yes, I admit it. And even there, I have often found that little people will still come running. Because toddlers, and little guys, just like the crowds around Jesus apparently, don't have a great understanding of BOUNDARIES. lol It can be easy in that moment to get frustrated, and wonder if there will ever come another moment where someone is not expecting you to meet a need. That is an exaggeration, of course, but sometimes that is how it FEELS in that moment.
But I love what happens next. Did Jesus get angry or send the people away? No, instead we see that
Jesus saw them clearly, through compassion's eyes, and that compassion sparked ACTIONS of love toward these hurting, needy people. Because he knew that while moments seeking the Father are a blessing and sometimes necessary, Jesus was always seeking to do the will of the Father. And he recognized what some would consider a major inconvenience, as actually an OPPORTUNITY for God to display His love and care in a miraculous way, and also even a way to once more TEACH the disciples (and boy did they need it.) By making themselves available for God to use them in an unplanned, inconvenient way, the disciples were the ones who benefited the most, because they came to know Jesus more intimately, in seeing His power on display. What an awesome thing it is to be used by God to bless someone else, and to be a witness to Him working in their life, using you as a vessel of honor to do His work!
While the disciples were focused solely on what resources they could physically see as available to them, Jesus had an understanding of the divine reality that He was in no way limited by the physical realm, but only by God's limitless resources of ministry. And as He trusted the father, He was able to access what He needed in that moment to minister to those before Him. That is the kind of relationship I want with my heavenly father. Not a materialistic view of God, but one where I live in such sweet fellowship with Him, and awareness of His presence in my life, that I don't become impatient or unkind when my family, or others I am called to love, come to me with needs beyond my finite resources and energy. Instead, I want to immediately take it to God in prayer, and trust Him to meet that need according to HIS will, for that person's life and for mine as well. I want to be faithful to attempt my best to find time to get alone with God, to meditate on His word, and to be changed. But when my efforts to get alone with Him are thwarted, I want to recognize His sovereignty in my life and receive with gratitude, not frustration, the divine appointments with people he sends my way, some of them the little people within my own home.
33 But the multitudes saw them departing, and many knew Him and ran there on foot from all the cities. They arrived before them and came together to Him. 34 And Jesus, when He came out, saw a great multitude and was moved with compassion for them, because they were like sheep not having a shepherd. So He began to teach them many things. 35 When the day was now far spent, His disciples came to Him and said, “This is a deserted place, and already the hour is late. 36 Send them away, that they may go into the surrounding country and villages and buy themselves bread; for they have nothing to eat.”
37 But He answered and said to them, “You give them something to eat.”
And they said to Him, “Shall we go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread and give them something to eat?”
38 But He said to them, “How many loaves do you have? Go and see.”
And when they found out they said, “Five, and two fish.”
39 Then He commanded them to make them all sit down in groups on the green grass. 40 So they sat down in ranks, in hundreds and in fifties. 41 And when He had taken the five loaves and the two fish, He looked up to heaven, blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to His disciples to set before them; and the two fish He divided among them all. 42 So they all ate and were filled. 43 And they took up twelve baskets full of fragments and of the fish. 44 Now those who had eaten the loaves were about five thousand men. -Mark 6:30-43
This is the passage the Lord brought to my attention tonight, and I had to share. Did you notice what it says in verse 31? The disciples were living such a hectic life of ministry that they didn't even have TIME to eat! I never noticed that before.
Have you ever felt that way, as a mother with small children? I know I have. I remember well those first months of motherhood, when it seemed I was fortunate if I showered and dressed in a day, and even getting food in my body was a serious challenge. I also know how easy it is to use busyness as an excuse for letting our time alone with God slide to the end of our priorities. How awesome that we see Jesus here, challenging and encouraging the disciples to get away from the crowds for a while and seek the rest and quiet fellowship with Him that they needed.
Funny thing is, it didn't work out so well for them, did it? I mean they TRIED to get away from the crowds, but then what happens? The crowds FOLLOWED them. Sheesh. There have been times that just for the pleasure of a quiet moment, I have sought solitude....in the bathroom. Yes, I admit it. And even there, I have often found that little people will still come running. Because toddlers, and little guys, just like the crowds around Jesus apparently, don't have a great understanding of BOUNDARIES. lol It can be easy in that moment to get frustrated, and wonder if there will ever come another moment where someone is not expecting you to meet a need. That is an exaggeration, of course, but sometimes that is how it FEELS in that moment.
But I love what happens next. Did Jesus get angry or send the people away? No, instead we see that
Jesus saw them clearly, through compassion's eyes, and that compassion sparked ACTIONS of love toward these hurting, needy people. Because he knew that while moments seeking the Father are a blessing and sometimes necessary, Jesus was always seeking to do the will of the Father. And he recognized what some would consider a major inconvenience, as actually an OPPORTUNITY for God to display His love and care in a miraculous way, and also even a way to once more TEACH the disciples (and boy did they need it.) By making themselves available for God to use them in an unplanned, inconvenient way, the disciples were the ones who benefited the most, because they came to know Jesus more intimately, in seeing His power on display. What an awesome thing it is to be used by God to bless someone else, and to be a witness to Him working in their life, using you as a vessel of honor to do His work!
While the disciples were focused solely on what resources they could physically see as available to them, Jesus had an understanding of the divine reality that He was in no way limited by the physical realm, but only by God's limitless resources of ministry. And as He trusted the father, He was able to access what He needed in that moment to minister to those before Him. That is the kind of relationship I want with my heavenly father. Not a materialistic view of God, but one where I live in such sweet fellowship with Him, and awareness of His presence in my life, that I don't become impatient or unkind when my family, or others I am called to love, come to me with needs beyond my finite resources and energy. Instead, I want to immediately take it to God in prayer, and trust Him to meet that need according to HIS will, for that person's life and for mine as well. I want to be faithful to attempt my best to find time to get alone with God, to meditate on His word, and to be changed. But when my efforts to get alone with Him are thwarted, I want to recognize His sovereignty in my life and receive with gratitude, not frustration, the divine appointments with people he sends my way, some of them the little people within my own home.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)