I thought I would take a minute, while I am sick, to update about my rpg game that is supposed to help me succeed in real life.(our whole clan has been battling a head cold since last Friday, and I am one of the last to fall victim to the plague of 2014. As I type, my youngest son David has been laying beside me, also convalescing. This morning, he has also been throwing up, so I am hoping it's just nausea related to congestion, and not an additional stomach virus.) I blogged about starting the game a couple times back, so go back and read that if you have no idea what I am talking about. The upside of me being sick is yay, you, lucky reader, get MULTIPLE posts from me today. I know, I know.
Anyway, I have already killed the sucker a week in. lol My firstborn is doing the game as well, and she says I set my standards too high for goals to reach on my habits and dailies. I will say one of the things I check off everyday is "drink coffee." That is my one gimme check each day, as well as "shower/dress". lol But I have also set goals like wake up with Joe, read my Bible and pray, work out for 30 minutes, do a load of laundry and move it to the dryer, as well as checking off all the indidual homeschool work I have to do with each child, like Dave's reading lessons, Jon and Rebekah's grammar and math work, meeting with Joseph and Kate to go over their independent work progress, and read aloud time each day and science with the younger kids. The homeschool work gets done, the coffee drinking and Bible time usually do as well, and I also am doing pretty well at menu planning and making sure meals are fixed. Housework is sometimes a struggle to stay on top of, and so is exercising. I suppose that, coupled with the fact that I have been the one in best shape for much of the weekend and early part of the week, with Joe, Kate, and Rebekah not feeling well, has been the reason for the death of nightelfmohawklady, as I have affectionately named her.
The upside to rpg games is I immediately revived her, and while I am sick, I put her in an "inn" to rest, so while I am recovering I don't kill her again. It's funny to me how my life often dovetails with what God shows me in my quiet times, and sermons I hear and such. I mean, I have been really giving my utmost to go after knowing God with my whole heart, and then BAM we get hit with sickness again. I start to feel discouraged, and question why these hardships are coming again, and he speaks to me through Exodus yesterday (my last post, which got posted this morning.) He gently reminds me to trust Him to bring me through, and to rely on His strength, not my own. I will be quick to cry out to Him, but strive to be slow to complain. Haha, but it's not a "natural" response for me to be supernaturally joyful when kids are puking, I am sick, and life still is moving forward. What is cool is seeing how God still provides in the midst of this stuff. My eldest has a job now, and I was dreading the thought of having to drag myself into the car to drive her to work, but turns out her boss is sick as well, and because someone else would be teaching the Lego class in his place, he gave her the option to show up at the school or miss today. With the sickness going around, I chose that she could miss. So God just made it easy for my schedule to clear a little bit. It's the little things like that, that I notice lately.
The awesome thing, to me, about trusting God in circumstances, is that in doing so, you are no longer limited by the laws of cause and effect, or even your own resources. I know that when God has called me to do something, he will make a way for me to do it. Because really it will be him doing it THROUGH me, not me really doing it at all.
I'm still praying about the rpg game app. I'm not sure yet if it's helping me, or hindering me. The little avatar, decked out in battle gear amuses me. And I am so nerdy; I admit, I get a little thrill when I check a box and it rewards me with coins in the game to buy more weapons and battle gear. The problem for me, sometimes, is I have always struggled with a tendency to validate my worth based on my performance. So I am not sure if a game like this might encourage that for me personally, or if I am mature enough now to let it motivate me, without feeling worthless if I am not doing "well", or earning "coins" for getting things accomplished in real life. Silly, huh?
When I consider how old I am, and how often I struggle to be disciplined in sometimes such basic ways, I get discouraged and frustrated. But when I consider all that God has done in my life, in spite of me, and all the ways He has shown His love to me, and the growth that has occurred, however small at times, I feel encouraged greatly. The two biggest disciplinary nemeses in my life are regularly exercising, and being disciplined with regards to setting a schedule for myself, and following it. I have come to see that while I am most definitely a gal who is nerdy in loving to check a box, in my personality I am actually more of a free, creative, artistic spirit than I ever realized. In that regard, I am not much of a Martha. So maybe my blog should be named Being Martha, becoming Mary. lol I am only Martha in that I must discipline myself continuously to keep Christ at the center of my life, and to not let busyness crowd him out of first place.